Capturing the Miracle: A Photographer's Perspective on Kylie's Birth Experience

Kylie first messaged me over Facebook in late April. We hadn't met before, but from our short chat, I could already tell - this birth mattered to her in a deep and personal way. She told me that she was due at the end of May, but she had a strong sense her baby girl may come early. We discussed options for travel and timing, and I let her know that I travel outside of Topeka often and even enjoy the challenge of a new hospital, nerves and all.

She had a clear plan for this birth experience. No IV, no pain meds, no intervention - just her and her body, as it had been with her first birth. There was one difference this time. She wanted to REMEMBER it. Her last birth, though it went as she wanted, unmedicated, was darkened and blurred by her unsafe partner. She was alone in her journey.

Kylie learned just how strong and capable she is and closed that chapter of her life. She found a partner who supported her and created a safe space for her. They began a new story together, one built on love, joy, and support for each other. He is steady and loving. "He loves his family in every possible way.", she later told me. "He is my best motivator. He never lets me think anything is impossible." This is how she knew he would be the best birth partner for the arrival of their little girl.

We booked her maternity session right away. We were right in our worries about making it to that maternity session, as her baby had other plans. Just as Kylie's instincts had suggested, her baby would be coming early.

On May 6th, she let me know that she was 4cm dilated. She had an OB appointment where they checked her cervix after consistent contractions. Her OB, who she deeply trusted, had performed a membrane sweep - not to rush things, but to help gently guide labor along. He was leaving for vacation in a couple days. There were other OB's who could have stepped in, but it was essential to Kylie that this OB be there. "He was the only provider I've ever felt safe with.", she later told me. "I was heard. I was supported."

The following day, she followed up at the OB. She was very close to active labor, which would admit her to the labor and delivery floor. He told her to walk around the hospital for an hour, then recheck. She had moved to 6CM in 1 hour. I left the session I was at, threw my gear in the car, and started on my way. I had a simple white dress in my backseat, a small substitute for the maternity photos she had been envisioning.

By 4:15PM, I arrived. I was welcomed into the room by her family - her mom, daughter, brother, and husband. I checked in with staff, introduced myself, and prepared to settle in for my role.

The plan was to manually break her water at 5:00PM. In the meantime, we snuck in a quick maternity session with the white dress that I had with me. The light was not perfect, the room was not ideal, I was rushed for time. But I feel we captured something truly beautiful - the connection between her first born, her true love, and the baby within her.

As her OB broke her water, she laughed: "Ope, there it goes - yup, that's warm on my butt." The room burst into laughter. Her toddler exclaimed, "Mommy peed the bed!" Then just like that, the contractions started rolling in.

She bounced on the birth ball, moved around the room, walked the halls, and smiled through the early waves. Her daughter danced in and out of photos, stuffed green beans in her pocket, and kept everyone laughing, while mama swayed and breathed through contractions. By 6:10PM, Kylie asked for the birth bar. She labored on it for about 35 minutes as the pain began to carve its way.

At 7:00PM, Kylie took a moment to rest, while they got her baby back on the monitors to check on baby. She labored much of the time free from the monitors - and the straps and pressure that come with them. Her OB checked her cervix. During this check, her labor took a very unexpected turn. It was both incredible and troubling. He felt something, not just her cervix and baby's head, but a tiny hand reaching down.

The pain during the last check was intense, and the reality hit hard - baby's hand was blocking her head from applying pressure to the cervix evenly and effectively. Progress slowed. She would have to dig deep. Later, Kylie told me this was when she knew this birth would push her further than she ever expected. Her OB would need to repeatedly move baby's hand out of the way.

By 7:50PM, she started feeling more pressure. Ten minutes later, that pressure turned into rising tension. Her husband set up a fan. At 8:40, they checked again. Still 7cm. Still, that little hand.

At 9PM, she was up again, pacing the room, pain constant now. Her OB finally coaxed the hand enough to the side of baby's face so that the head could descend properly. The next step would be to add more pressure to her cervix through Pitocin to help hold the head in place and prevent the hand from slipping back out. Pitocin was not in her birth plan, but she is a woman capable of overcoming any obstacle, and she trusted her doctor's plan.

Kylie told me in the weeks after her birth "The Pitocin contractions after that.... they were the hardest part. The shakes. Trying to stay awake between each wave after the Fentanyl. That was the wall."

Kylie began vomiting. Nausea wrapped around her. We all worked swiftly to get tissues, a bag, and a cold cloth, while her nursing team acquired Zofran and Pepcid.

30 minutes later, after getting up briefly, Kylie whispered, exhausted, her breath labored, "I don't think I can stand anymore." She returned to the bed. Still, her husband stayed close and steady. Another 20 minutes floated by. She was shaking and sick again. " I don't know what to do." she said as her eyes searched the room for something she could cling to.

At 10:20PM, the urge to push surged, but she was not yet fully dilated. Her body was crying out for rest. The Fentanyl was offered and accepted. It gave her a very short, but needed space to breath. Even with this relief, she vomited again at 10:40. As I swapped her emesis bag for a clean one, she looked up and said "I can't do this. I'm gonna freak out." Everyone in the room knew that she could push through and do this.

Her OB stepped forward - not to intervene, but to steady her. "Control your breath," he told her, "let it out long and slow. Deep breath." He stayed grounded and present, which is exactly the reminder that Kylie needed.

She steadied. Her husband cooled her face, rubbed her back, wiped away her tears, vomit, and sweat. He stepped up in every quiet way. By 11:00PM, the room hushed. The only sounds were her breath and that steady heartbeat as we all stood around her in silence while her body pushed forward. Then she muttered "Oh my God, this sucks."

During the next check of her cervix, she was still not 10CM and that little hand was still pushing forward. As he guided the hand back, the OB encouraged her to bear down a little. She nodded and moved to her knees over the peanut ball. "I feel like I gotta push.", she was whispering, nearly asleep, as the pain, medications, and fatigue braided themselves together.

She continued to change positions. Again at 11:40PM, with her cervix still there, she said "I've gotta push." "You're so close." her OB said. "I can't do this.", she replied. She meant it. Every part of her felt as if it were unraveling. 11:50PM. "God, I can't do this." she said angrily. She changed position again. "I have no body strength. I literally can't do anything."

At this point, her husband and nurse helped her into the bathroom one last time. She came back sobbing. "I'm not okay. I just want her out. It all hurts." What followed would be the moment that Kylie realized her body did know exactly what to do. This was the moment that she had fought for, for so long.

12:11AM. Kylie said “I'm pushing on my own. I'm not doing anything - it's just happening." While her cervix was STILL not complete, her body had other plans. She began giving effort, not out of strategy, but from instinct.

And finally - she was born.

A hand beside her head. A cord wrapped gently around her foot. A cry that filled the room with light.

Kylie's OB passed the baby through her legs. Kylie caught her. She held her so close.

Her face - torn between disbelief and triumph - was raw, radiant, primal, and utterly human.

Her husband had planned on catching Halo, but when the plan went off-course, he never left Kylie's side. "That surprised me the most.", she said later. "He just knew I needed him. He was there the whole time."

The placenta delivered next. The mood in the room continued to brighten as Kylie held her baby and her light spirit returned. "Oh, nothing feels better than the coming out feeling.", she said. The OB chuckled as Kylie said "You can't understand.". "You're right. I don't understand.", he said back. I stepped back, formed her placenta and cord into a heart. The nurse hadn't seen this done before and admired the tradition.

Kylie's baby latched immediately. Her family gathered around to admire the new little bundle of joy.

Big sister, Haven, tucked nearby, slept peacefully throughout it all. She was there by her mommy's side the entire time and shortly awoke to meet her little sister.

Before leaving the room, Kylie's doctor reached out to Halo's hand - a familiar hand that he first met inside the womb. Her tiny little fingers curled around his.

I captured a few more images for the family, admired sweet Halo's novelty and Kylie's incredible strength, then left for my travel back to Topeka.

We later met in the Scranton studio for Halo's newborn session. This was my first newborn session using off-camera flash for an entire session. Halo was peaceful, sleepy, dreamy, and expressive. We did a few setups, family photos, big sister moments, and ended with Kylie in that same white dress from her labor.

Afterward, I asked her when she realized she was a mother. Her answer surprised me. "With my first, honestly. But it didn't set in until I realized that relationship wasn't going to work. I was going to be a single mom, learning everything from scratch by myself. That's when it really hit."

She told me that she learned from this experience that she doesn't run from love, like she previously had thought. She had been dealt a crappy hand and used to wonder if she was the problem. She is not. She is a genuine women with a lot of love to give. She wants her husband and a big family, and since meeting him, she knows that the love she envisions IS possible.

When I asked her what she remembered about the room - the sights, the sounds, the smells... she told me "I honestly disassociated a lot. Once the Pitocin and Fentanyl was in my system, I only could focus on the pain. But I had an exceptional birth team. I knew I was safe. There were enough people to take care of things. I didn't have to worry about anything except making it through."

She also told me that she remembered the sound of her daughter's cry. The sight of her hair. The weight of her little body on her chest. Kylie said, “She looked scared. So I held her close. I shushed her. She was perfect and I was done with the pain. I could finally just enjoy her.”

And as for me - she remembered that too. She left the following note on her birth story questionnaire about my presence during her birth experience.

"I actually LOVED every bit of it. Not only were you behind the camera, but you were there to hold my hand if needed or to call a nurse in the room during moments that I couldn't speak for myself. My daughter came unexpectedly and the room was chaotic. You took it all like a champ. You didn't let my stubborn oldest daughter get on your nerves, even though she was constantly in the way. You navigated greatly and were never a burden or annoyance. You were a huge help and I'm forever grateful you were a part of this experience."

This is a birth story and words from a woman that I will hold in my heart forever. It was an honor to document this birth experience for Kylie.